halloweenghoul (halloweenghoul) wrote,
halloweenghoul
halloweenghoul

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Sometimes I feel like I could never feel different, even if I tried.

So it's pretty early in the morning and I should really be sleeping right now since I have a really long shift tomorrow. But for some reason my fucking head races so much that I can't even have 5 minutes of peace to myself. Granted, today was a great day and I was so happy to be able to finally spend it with Neal, since like I get to spend almost no time with him anymore due to his side jobs he's been doing with his dad. We went and got my check cashed and went to Walmart and ended up going out to eat and getting stuffed off our asses and feeling like we were gonna puke everywhere, lol. Than I got him some new clothes and we went to the Halloween store and I found some Nightmare Before Christmas shit, but since we had gotten there right before it closed, I didn't really get to get all the shit that I wanted. *grunt* But it's alright, I can always go back, plus my job should be getting our Halloween shipment in soon.

I really wish I wasn't so fucking depressed and worried all the time. I really feel like I cannot get out of this and it's driving me fucking insane. I'm sure it's driving Neal insane as well, but I know that he pretty much is almost alway's upset with me anyway. I really feel like I'm going to end up loosing him, and it hurts so fucking much to feel this way.

I just want to be happy.
I just need happyness.
and I need it to last.

Just for ONCE.
God, please. =[


....This is where I go to bed and rest my head.

Goodnight cold, bitter world.

</3

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